Zero-to-Perl

There's a new power scooter out, the Golden Buzzaround Carry-On HD. The HD part is important. This is the heavy duty one, which is also first-in-class lithium ion battery scooter. But that's not what this entry is about (and the scheduled arrival date is Tuesday).

Since the scooter was backordered and not going to arrive in time for the Michigan trip, I ordered a (not too expensive for the specs) power wheelchair off Amazon. The choice was partly informed by the advertised shipping time: two days. Plenty of time for it to arrive. And then I watched the shipment crawl over what was clearly ground transport, likely because of the battery. Eventually the package arrival date got down to our departure date. Meanwhile, I was paralyzed with anxiety about the trip, and was barely able to pack. At least I was able to make checklists for when I eventually unfroze on the day of departure.

FedEx said my power chair would arrive between 1 and 3. This was inaccurate, and at some point the forecast switched to "end of day".

When it hadn't arrived by 4, we loaded into the car with my upright (unpowered) walker. At the last minute as we fled out the door, I thought our snack supply looked a little too small and grabbed a random bag to toss a few more things into. As we pulled out of the neighborhood I called the airline accessibility services line to report the change. Which took a little while, as I had to explain that no, I hadn't "changed my mind" about bringing the power wheelchair, the reason I wasn't taking the power wheelchair was because it hadn't arrived yet, so I couldn't take it. At that point I got the appropriate amount of sympathy.

Within the MINUTE I told the very nice customer service person goodbye, Alex spotted the FedEx truck.

By that point Silver and I were on I-5, but with a very nice turn off opportunity. (Silver had taken that specific route because it's a pain in the ass to get over another couple lanes that quickly and in traffic.)

So we went back, we thanked the Bastard profusely and profanely, with the double thumb-tap to the lips (both of us, simultaneously). Silver offloaded the walker and onloaded the chair while I talked to the airline accessibility department again and tried to figure out what the battery voltage was. The footrests fit into the duffel bag with the extra snacks, just as if I had planned it intentionally. I asked Silver to empty my padded tote bag, so we could use it for the battery.

We got to the airport on time for all of that.

I got the best of both worlds: chair coming with me, but since the battery wasn't charged we checked the main body of the chair at the Special Services counter and got wheelchair service through the airport. Security was less of a zoo than usual because we went through the wheelchair lane instead of the endless maze. I got pornoscanned for the first time.

That got us to the gate an hour earlier than we'd intended.

I was very glad to have the power chair with us, as it made some of the bits that would have been excessively strenuous much much better. Silver got used to lifting the thing into the back of their mom's SUV, and eventually we banged our heads on the car less often.

Coming back, it wasn't quite as easy going through security since I was still new at steering the chair and we didn't have the professional chair-pusher to finesse security. (No, not the ateva way.) We gate-checked the chair. I checked in with the two wheelchair-pushers who met us at the Seattle end of things, and assured the one who was waiting for me that I had my chair (as Silver cussed gently at the footrests).

And when we eventually got home, Yellface cussed us both out like I've never seen her cuss before. She was Peeved! That we! Had Abandoned! Her!!!!

I have since decked it out with retroreflective tape, electroluminescent wire, and a miniature disco projector meant for a bike.